his penis was crooked so i rode him at an angle. he seemed used to this.
We learned a valuable lesson from last night. You can, in fact, order bacon on a Big Mac.
As a side note, my abs are sore. Most likely cause? Orgasms. Thank you.
Well if were past the bullshitting stage yes if not then no I'm not that kind of guy
Let's cut to the chase. What days are we sleeping together this week?
Went home drunk last night and peed on my Christmas tree, my mothers going to fucking kill me
Carrying your RA back to her room wasn't the conclusion I was expecting for the first thursday back
Those mornings you wake up with a Barbie tramp stamp are the mornings that are the that are going to make me miss this place
That's just a really flattering way of saying, "Yes, you're useless, but you have great tits."
I woke up to 76 pages of e's, r's, d's, and f's from when I fell asleep for 3 hours on my laptop keyboard trying to write that paper.
I don't remember where I was but I remembered that I hated everyone there
The beer shits the day after completing the World Beer Tour at Epcot are just as epic as the tour itself.
It all started with a game of naked twister.
This girl in my class is lecturing my professor about zombies. It has been going on for 15 minutes.
Zombies?
Zombies.
You made me promise I wouldnt let you play "fuck fuck goose" with a 40 year old ever again.
Randomize
