I took off my clothes and she wanted to have sex. But then she changed her mind. So we ended up fucking through her panties or something. I don't know it was weird.
'in an unhealthy relationship' should def be an fb option
Whoever said that a man can only cum up to 8 times a day is a fucking liar...or was never on adderall
Just because we buy weed together doesn't mean were a couple
Seriously, it sounds like someone is torturing a dozen cats inside a Japanese techno club while a jamaican yells random hipster words through a megaphone.
Well who could blame her. I would run away from me if I could.
some girl at the bar told me my beard would tickle every inch of her body till she joy puked her face off.... that was so random and odd i just had to buy her a drink for having the guts to say it to me. WTF
I got my little bro high for the first time... Turns out the two of us stoned together is a mess. We spent 10 minutes trying to communicate with each other using just our eyebrows.
We helped him hit the bowl to the point that he didn't even have to move
I don't care who you bring as long as they are fun and not a cop
This is even better than the wine from my laundry basket
I just found out my younger brother has me saved in his contacts as "Womb Primer" and I don't know what to do with this information
If you binge watch Bill Nye Saves the World without me you can consider yourself single
He ate me out for an eternity. Like fell asleep, woke up, and he was still doing it.
He eats ass but won’t hold open doors. My kinda guy.
Chivalry really is dead.
Randomize
