Taljing aboutpenisrs w gerruly ska pops
i wish my apartment had room service that i didn't have to pay for.
Sadness tears and throw up everywhere
He's cheating on his wife, and he's judging me for eating McDonalds
I don't even know where to begin....there's queso sauce and public hair stuck to everything
I feel like a cloud. A cloud that wants to be laid.
You put me in such a good mood with that road head, I bought everyone at Hooters donuts.
Yeah i just finished watching someone play ping pong with his penis it didn't fully register until after a few seconds
Stop sending me pictures of you naked. This violates the friend zone agreement.
Why do I have a wristband from the birthing center at the University of Maryland hospital....
Phone keeps correcting good morning to "food moaning" and I like the way it thinks.
Has anyone ever blacked out at an art show your dad brought you to?
New rule: if someone asks if you would like to snort a xanax the answer is no.
Please explain the hospital band on my wrist.
i should probably stop doing things just because i think they’re funny. i’m not going to.
Randomize
