I texted him about a book we both like. I was expecting a "ya great book... let's bone" response. It didn't work
I considered driving home in his mom's bathrobe until i realized i'd have to stop to buy cigarettes
Not only do prius' look terrible they are terrible to have sex in
and im sitting here waiting for them to work on my car. in a room full of men. that are too old for me. its like a sausage fest nightmare...
I found the pot of gold last night, and it was full of bad decisions.
Just walk-of-shame'd past fifteen little girls at summer camp. Take a good look girls, I am you in twelve years.
woke up this morning in the hall outside of my parents room with a sign taped to myself that said "im sorry"...
we woke up to him feeding us cheetos at 3am. and by feeding i mean shoving them in our mouths and saying "i mean who doesn't like cheetos"
Just sneezed out a half gram of coke into a tissue. Four hours after the fact. The bender continues.
I refrained from asking a guy what he spilled on his dick because it smelled good. Morals.
It's called being normal.
I left myself a note saying 'buy a hamster but not an orange one like this pen'
omg so drunk
But that's fine. Because I am an independent woman who is going to pull some jane Goodall shit and save the world one day......or be a porn star......either way they are going to wish they had fucked me.
Last night was a whirlwind of vodka - induced emotion
she just kept straddling the railing to the stairs and shouting "come on Seabiscuit, lets win this for America."
How did the surgery go?
My face feels like a marshmallow.
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