the girl next to me in class just threw up in a waterbottle during our exam.
Tonight I think I'm going to go out with a french braid so I don't wake up with puke hair. Thoughts?
And your mom thought you weren't even thinking about your future... she would be proud
Now I know how you felt every time you had to listen to me have sex with a girl... mildly disguested yet marginally proud.
Just walk-of-shame'd past fifteen little girls at summer camp. Take a good look girls, I am you in twelve years.
America approved of our night. A bald eagle flew over us at 7am
All I remember is taking a bath, puking in the bath water numerous times while trying to wash myself and I must of eventually given up
So I vaguely remember making out with you this morning, I think you were on a date?
Friends help friends remove their foot from the sunroof after an epic smoke sesh.
There's not an emojicons for I think I ripped my asshole and want to die.
Happy Thanksgiving! Hope its not too awkward that your dad and your boyfriend are the same age.
alright well Taco Bell Closes at 12 so you better pray to god she's asleep by then or I'm running in your house butt ass naked with a bag of tacos
You gave me a bottle of tequila and introduced me to a ginger named cowboy. I actually love you.
I'm naked in a forest ranger station right now
I've been sober for almost two weeks and it's been the worst two weeks ever. Even my mom told me I need to start drinking again.
Can you come over?
Sex??
Sure but there’s also a squirrel in my garage I need you to take care of.
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