Just saw the homeless asian lady making a hispanic man pull her shopping cart with a harness. I love Boston.
Am I allowed to make my facebook status "loves farting in chairs"? I think it would shock every boy that I am friends with.
his status popped up and said 'probably going to jail.' it took everything i had not to press the like button
had to bail. she had her cat tattooed on her
Was I wearing clothes when I handed you your keys. Please tell me I was wearing clothes.
Ok! I picked up an anti-celebratory bottle of champagne on the way to dinner for her going to rehab. That's how I feel about this...
I mean you were pretty drunk at one point you asked if we could have a glass of water ready for you in case you choked while bobbing for apples, but you said grape juice was preferable. You can't choke on an apple btw
the night probably should have been over when the guy let her fill out my mechanical bull waver for me because i couldn't read
Not blacking out at our finals party is my Everest
I JUST MADE OUT WITH A BRITISH SOCCER PLAYER. LONG LIVE THE QUEEN. GOD BLESS THAT COUNTRY.
When I was drunk texting him about three ways he seemed more interested in just seeing me. And that's when I knew something was wrong with him
Any recommendations for how to tell your wife about the pics of her 19 yr old sister on a porn site without admitting you were surfing said porn site?
He bought the 12 pack of condoms. I take that as a sign of serious commitment.
He was singing R-E-S-P-E-C-T to a stripper between motorboats while our HR manager cheered him on.
am drunk, naked, and blow drying cat. need adult supervision
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