Haha she couldn't find her dress in the morning. So she left it. How do the hell do I discreetly return that to her at work. More importantly, how did she discreetly do the walk of shame??
I just wanted to let you know I just licked gravy off of my boobs. Just putting that out there.
I went back up to the apartment to get her phone and when I came back she was peeing on the sidewalk
everytime someone would look at you, you started to try and deep throat your beer bottle.
Drunkenly auctioned off my bed for 3 tequila shots
Tell your boyfriend I'm sorry for ruining his vein. I'm never drawing blood drunk again.
Yes, she did suck your dick in the bathroom to wake you up.
we've called him dos banos ever since he threw up in 2 separate bathrooms with the same puke
Dude I walked 1.4 miles through the hotel wearing a cowboy hat, pink topped boots, gucci shades, and a scarf and met my parents in the hallway at 7 am how is this not a good start to Vegas?
Exactly. This is the bit where I learn a heartwarming lesson about not making my drinks half vodka
Day 1 of "Death of a Liver" weekend complete. It came with flashbacks of horrible mistakes I made due to alcohol. I'm excited for how Sunday is going to turn out.
I know. But whatever I'll just eat cold pizza and play with my cats by candlelight
After we finished having phone sex he proceeded to serenade me with Ave Maria. It was magical.
I just wanna inform you guys that the first pregnancy scare of 2016 is over...
As I walked across the lawn after the party got busted, an officer told me to chug my beer before I left the premises.
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