either fucking kiss her or kick her ass to the curb. Either way I can hear everything you are saying
You came back with puke all over your sweatshirt and started doing darth vader impressions
I am so hungover and cant move but craving a Wendys frosty so bad. I might have to watch 2 girls 1 cup just to settle the urge
He skyped me to learn how to roll a joint and for us to masturbate together. And you said a long distance relationship wouldn't work.
Also on a more serious note, what says pull my hair more: straight or soft curls?
I was in the bathroom puking up mountains of tequila and when he came to help me, I held the door shut and kept yelling at him to let me be a lady.
Where are you? I hear fireworks and you've gone missing. I'm sure that is not coincidence.
Why did the fire extinguisher taste lemony?
Atlanta road trip update. Jimmy fell into the petting tank at the aquarium. And freaked out. With cops now... Keep you posted
I am sleeping in the bathtub because my bed is too soft.
So yeah he had good weed?
He awkwardly handed me plan b on Pickens Street... it was like a sketchy drug deal.
i think ive reached a prime reproductive point in my life or somethin- i see gingers and all i want to do is have their babies. like my body knows that i have a to carry on a legacy
Had to admit my broken elbow was caused by vodka, not hockey
seriously i don't trust him. he fed me a hot dog out of a crock pot and gave me moonshine dashed jager bombs.
Man I just realized that my only life problem right now is that I have to convince myself not to fuck a 19-y-o
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