Dude that chick in the corner just threw up
Hot
I'm on a cruise to the Bahamas and this text message is gunna cost me $10 but I need you to pray on my behalf for the things I'm about to do these 2 girls and what I did last night to a 35 year old mother of 3.
I didn't know how to tell her I was too busy getting stoned and making a baked potato to meet up and finish our group project.
We're stealing the mannequin. He's my new swimming partner.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
so, she was so drunk she tried stabbing me with a corn dog stick
Successfully masturbated while balancing on an exercise ball. my greatest accomplishment?
Probably
Trying to convince myself that everyone keeps staring at me because I'm pretty and not because of my hickies.
When in doubt, it's too much cheese
I am laying in your bed and just found a bottle of wine under your pillow ...should have married you...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Try eating a sub blackout with your uncle. It's not easy ok
Give me an out of order sign and caution tape and we can have sex practically anywhere.
day drinking caused me to be in bed at a decent time. can't complain.
Just had to stop myself from doing a bump on the Disney bus. The struggle is real.
I'm currently trying to figure out a way to fill the bathtub up with mashed potatoes so when he comes over he'll know what's about to hit him..
Just keep me informed about your plans. That way i can figure out places to go and if i need to shave my balls
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