Can a clitoris grow tomatoes? Its symbolic and rhetorical.
he wasnt completely random
you're right. you met him once and didnt know his name. you still dont
i get things done.
all the douches that like ed hardy are the same douches that were obsessed with lisa frank
The bong broke. we're having a little funeral followed by an inaugeration service for the new one
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after we finished, she said she had been a backup performer for Cirque du Soleil. THAT flexible.
His fingers had 12 years of piano lessons behind them. my ex has been put to shame by a finger
i just opened a bottle of wine with my dads power tools
I'm going to be blunt here. I don't actually care what you're doing tonight. I just need to know if I need to shave or not.
The Ex's are trying to talk to the GF. Game face bro.
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Just got that "I know what's going on with your vagina" look from that CVS cashier.
You bought MORE?!
We're already drunk. 4 hours to go still. And there's a bear advisory. TOP WEEKEND.
He isn't understanding any of my Fetty Wap references. He may not be a keeper after all.
And on a positive note i found a list that i made in 3rd grade titled "what to do if you want a guy to like you"
yeah, i thought because of the nature of his job he would have been better at it, but i guess there's a difference between a bagpipe and vagina
its 11:20. i'm drunk in class flying paper airplanes for my final. what the fuck is my college experience right now?
Randomize