like what am i supposed to say "im thinking of how bad that sex was"?
The idiot babysitter thought my dildo was a teething toy and gave it to our child.
Did you put it in the freezer again?
I don't even know what he looks like, all i've seen of him is his dick
the rest of him looks just as crooked
its like national bring your ginger to the pool day or something
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
then you put baby powder on the bottom of your feet and walked to your room so "ladies would follow the footprints"
If fate has that penis in my future.....I'm down.
i dont care. it has been a 14 hour day, and we are all celebrating by alternating shots and grilled cheese.
Just used "I used to work as an inflatable toy operator" as a pick up line. Freshman frenzy is great...
I'm the brains and you're the boobs of this operation.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He made me keep his swollen nut cold with frozen bags of peas while rubbing his tummy because he said I had no choice.
He looked like he was trying to woo a lady version of himself by playing goblin music on his guitar.
He yelled "CARLI LLOYD" and then kicked the cake off the table. Soccer is making monsters out of us.
I'm not in bed, I'm driving and puking at the same time.... first for everything
I always can't wait to see you but when there's also an opportunity to get naked it elevates to an entirely different level
Oh man. I threw up in the first cab. Got kicked out. Roamed somewhere for awhile. Fell asleep in the back if the second cab. Woke up in my underwear on the living room floor with a frozen pizza (thawed) laying next to me
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