she just took a shower. i'll probs go down on her to encourage shower taking. it's like pavlov, you know?
In The Air Tonight was playing in the dentist's office. Had to stop the cleaner to do the drums.
We were just talking bout putting on helmets and going fo a car ride just to see how ppl react. I will def fit in here haha
We left around 4am, just after you laid down on your front lawn to take a piss. After 15 mins I said "dude are you still peeing?" you replied "Nope, just laying here with my dick out."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You are literally throwing a tangerine right now. Beer pong is not played this way
And I would just like to take the time to say my boobs look great today.
In other news, someone I've had sex with won jeopardy last night.
Someone please drive out to my house to bring me a beer.. There are some in the fridge but I just can't get up
I can't stop drooling did you spike my drink?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Had a guy spin me around at the bar, kiss me then say "oh shit you're not who I thought you were" and then walk away.
Like I just asked Greg why I don't have a crown for my vagina. That drunk.
Dude, I got drunk and sexted his little sister by accident
can we fuck so we can live up to our nicknames for eachother?
You fell asleep while I was sucking your dick
Peru was great. He sent me a text after thanking me for my amazing morals which confused me but made me oddly proud...then he texted a correction. He meant my amazing oral. Sadly this Made me prouder. Fuck u bitches and ur morally inhibiting gag reflexes.
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