How many times do you have to sleep with a guy before you get him to kiss you???
grad school is all the worst parts of undergrad, without the binge drinking and bad decisions to make up for it
remind me not buy ky at kmart ever again. Had to get a manager to open the locked case. then he stood there and watched me look through the selection
I hate that ur telling me this.
she just uttered the sweetest sentence in the english language...my stripper friends are coming over
Having sex with her is like doing taxes, Happens once a year and I usually end up paying.
He kept saying it was because he was allergic to the chicken. Then he threw up on my mom.
I know its hard to believe that I'm already drunk at 12 p.m. but I am, so dont call me asking to go to the gym.
You may see me wearing your shirt to class. It's because I still have the spins and I'm anticipating throwing up on it. Asshole.
Apparently I taped knives to my hands and made everyone call me wolverine
Drank your wedding present. Sorry
Why does fireball set life on fire? Your insides, your head, your behavior...
Cocaine is ok on a cleanse, right?
Masturbated while waiting for my face mask to dry, so it was a productive night.
Don't drink and try to take a shower. I thought I was drowning
I think the night went to shit after he started sweating and crying about a taco he dropped on the ground 3 years ago. No more blind dates
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