I just withdrew $200 in ones. I think the teller knew what was up
you just kept yelling NO BUENO SENOR at the cashier and throwing coins at him, of course you were going to get kicked out of the grocery store
two gay guys came in and bought just a kite and a box of wine. Why cant I have saturday nights that awesome
it is entirely possible that the police will be knocking on the door in 25 minutes
All of our toilets in my house are broken. Thank God I've practiced peeing in the sink enough.
You then proceeded to tell me how good of a cook you were and put raw cookie dough in the champagne.
Please stop using me as a reference for bail bondsmen.
As sure as my left ball is bigger then my right. We will have our moment.
Is it bad I'm drunk at orientation
You've been there for 12 hours, what are you supposed to be doing
Not be drunk
Well. At least he's a gentleman. A gentleman satanist.
I was so fucked up last night that I peed on his FATHER'S BED and fell asleep there. and yes. his father was asleep in the bed
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
Okay so I just had a really great idea
no.
Question: have you ever spent your Tuesday evening helping your one-night-stand create a resume? Because I have...
In my life time, I want nothing more than to get a blow job while watching Space Jam.
Randomize
