i jus seen this fat chick walk buy look like she had don king coming out her arm pits..
Who were the five players on the alien team from space jam?
my iphone just auto-corrected drink to drnknghhhg...
So bad news they put a private property sign on the tiger.
Until they install cameras or armed security i'll ride the fuck out of that jungle cat.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He gave Paula abdoul a run for her crazy
The "puke-towel" started to grow something...
Did you mean to cry when you finished last night? Or were you just that drunk?
Walking through campus with a grocery bag full of pot brownies. I'm like the santa claus of 4/20
Did you like my voicemail? Sounded like I was being murdered, right?
By a pack of ravenous dildos
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Don't talk to me about scholarly dedication until you've taken a final in boxers, a bloody tank top and a zip tie to hold your hair back. I wear the most sullied 4.0 crown of all time....
i have a raging boner for Saturday, day drinking is one of my top favorite things right next to alligator wrestling and blowing shit up
I love how my phone automatically capitalizes Margarita. R-e-s-p-e-c-t.
I wish to strangle
whoa there darth vader
You're about wine.
Yes, I'm like 90% wine at the moment
Ate 5 hotdogs today. You need to get me back on my tequila diet cause this shit has to stop!
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