She's hot and she went to Notre Dame. I want to fuck the Catholic right out of her
i told him i was gay. he said that gay guys are supposed to be pretty.
The bartender told me the best pick-up line was to look deep into her eyes and tell her your gonna flick her vagina
Something growled at me in your dark backyard last nt. Hoping it was my landwalking laser sharks and not Andy.
ask me if i forgot to go to a midterm today
she wants me to meet her parents and she hasn't even met my penis yet.
I was just on craigslist and saw and ad for a naked yoga instructor. I will no longer be jobless.
so just saw tiger woods pull a page out of his wifes book and hit some kid in the head with a golf club
i think i made a good impression on his friends wen i survived 55 cup beer pong
but i'm paying and its not a date cause he's got a gf and i'm hooking up with his roommate tomorrow night
He doesn't drink liquor so instead of doing a body shot off my belly button he dropped water in there and sipped it out with a straw. Look at my face: =|
What part of a retired stonemason dealing with your rock hard cock does not sound like you have the wrong number ?
so it took us like 45 minutes to get into the party.... then when we wanted to leave we were blocked and forced to stay.
....you got kicked INTO a party??
New fact of life: getting Becca high never helps any situation at all ever.
How I know I would be an awful mother....I just stirred the bong up with a baby fork. A literal baby fork....
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