He was eating me out on the dryer...and his mom walked in with her laundry basket...
He wasn't the only one with a full load.
You told me alcohol would be the death of you then ordered 10 shots of tequila.
some dude is stoned out of his mind in my calc class. just shouted that the teacher was a genius cause he got rid of so many numbers
I've created a drink called, "watching the sound of music with grandma." its straight vodka
Confirmed. Vegetarians give terrible head.
Saturday at 4 is jello wrestling sponsored by the senior class council. That's why my school is awesome. Boom.
The gay is strong with you! You're more concerned about my outfit than my safety.
4:37 am. You're wearing underwear and carpet skates. Borderline crying. You want to punch Morgan. Have not stopped singing Give Your Heart a Break.
Andy was trying to screw his door shut from the inside so no one could get in.
bought even stevens on dvd and enough weed and pizza bagels to last us a week.. ready to get snowed in?
I should know better than to open your texts at the grocery store
Hahahahahha. You saved a homeless man. You're actually the mother Teresa of skanks.
Remember how we use to say "this will be the year I'll get my shit together!" And like we stopped doing that because we know that isn't happening anytime soon.
You're supposed to discourage my sluttiness not bring me hot Colombian men
i just really want to fuck a guy wearing lederhosen
it'll be sexier than it sounds, i promise
Randomize
