It's more exciting when they aren't single....and even better when you have to pretend that you just slept with their roommate while trying to do the walk a shame as their girlfriend comes marching into the apt.
Im not the least bit jealous of the life you lead.
I bet farrah fawcett is having words with michael jackson in heaven for stealing her thunder
This girl is drinking wine and watching grey's anatomy in the library during finals week. I hate comm majors.
Watching water boil has never been so amazing. I love wake-and-bakes.
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Unlimited sex for unlimited netflix. I can deal with that. I think this is the first prostitution deal for netflix ever.
I cannot believe I said bareback movement...
I think I just asked the Greek gyro guy on a yoga date.
Being with her was like shitty sexual fear factor big ass sausage nipples over sized outty belly button i was scared and drunk tell know one
You rode your bike four miles to my house. Yelled "I'm so high!" Then crashed into his car. It's a problem.
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YOU GAVE HIM A BLOWJOB ON YOUR DOORSTEP?!
Just bought a dildo. Happy first time single in four years Valentine's Day to me
I might be offended if you don't bang me tomorrow. You know, for America.
Good to know. If our sexting moves past early 1900s vernacular, I'll be sure to use that once or twice.
Fuck these bullshit days. My underwear are still inside out.
did you make it home?
i'm in a room and it looks like mine :)
hahah close nuff if it isnt
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