Sarah Palin is going to have a show on the discovery channel...Can I get a moment of silence for knowledge?
Not going outside. I may melt into a puddle of wine
you have no idea the dirty thing i want to do to your blad spot. please wear my vagina as a hat.
I woke up at 3am, my head in a toilet, still at the kegger, wearing a random cowboy hat.
Props to the guy on crutches playing edward forty hands. Dedicated to drinking games is an understatement.
its weird that my cat bites every fat chick i bring home. i repeat every fat chick, qhT KINDA FRIEND ARE YOU
If I had pants on, you wouldn't be getting this text message
Living room floor. I asked him to give me a back rub. He did. And smoothly transitioned that to foreplay, then basically threw me on the floor. My vagina hurts. He deserves another Christmas present.
Dude where are you? I've been here an hour and all I've done is get head from a random in the stairwell.
So he noticed that I cut a half inch off of my hair. Guess who just earned himself some road head on the way to the twin cities?
Yeah, last night in the parking lot was hot. I'm sure whoever has the surveillance tapes thinks so too.
I was in a penguin suit. Dick out. I am confident in the value of my pic.
I would definitely ride that dick into the sunset if nuggets are involved
I blacked out and when I woke up and looked at the counter.. there was a full cake upside down. I dont even understand ...
dont ever go to laser tag drunk. you will be judged.
Randomize
