dude i totally did the walk last night came out of her room to see her dad sitting there straight lookin at me...wtf
I had total buyers remorse when i finally got him naked. All that effort for a dude that hairy? Come on.
I just withdrew $200 in ones. I think the teller knew what was up
Every time a song comes on I get sad if glee has not a cover of it
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Come help me clean. I know we won't be getting our security deposit back...but I would like to move out with our dignity.
just got in my apt...and theres jungle juice here i left from over a month ago..this could be interesting...or deadly
Im wearing all my glow sticks to bed so i know where my arms are at all times.
I don't know how I'm going to know it's her, I only know what she looks like with a wig on
SHE COULD ALREADY BE HERE AND I WOULDN'T EVEN KNOW
Are we in any of the areas with tornados?
Dude, i don't even have pants on yet, it's too early to think about tornadoes.
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It's kind of awesome I can smoke with my parents and tell them about thetime we used listerine in that bong
Sex should not remind me of how baby birds get fed
He kept telling me that it stood for Sex Utility Vehicle
She told me she was the Publishers Clearing House of Dicks. Two dicks a day, everyday for life.
I think I swiped left on my soulmate
"fuck it, let's do moonshine" shouldn't be in ANYONE'S vocabulary.