tonights recap: old cokehead freind proposed in the middle of a country bar to his trash girlfriend, saw ex-fuck who now has star shaved into his head and another with his gf, and ex-bfs best friends crackin jokes about who would fuck me first. NEVER COMING HOME AGAIN
all i wanna do is slam about 38 beers eat a whole pizza and wake up naked in the taco bell parking lot
I have no idea what happened after 2 AM. I woke up on my bike, in my bed, with a deep thigh bruise.
Also I'm 95 percent positive we ate food naked together
23 People Reveal The Worst Culture Shock They’ve Ever Experienced While Traveling
We don't have a lot of plans besides weed and cake
You walked away saying that you had to pee and you never came back. We found you an hour later in his roommate's bed. Under the covers. Still in your wet bathing suit.
I swear if she asks me for a baby one more time I'm gonna sleep with one of her friends
EVERYONE IS SPEAKING SPANISH. I ONLY KNOW HOLA.
He really thought ahead and just left the tequila in the mail box for late night pickup. Best. Friend. Ever.
27 People Confess Their Proudest Fap
I mean there is a rehab there so its gotta be a good time
I have woke up on a strange couch, in a strange house, on another campus. Can you Friend-Find me and pick me up?
Going to dump some dried Xanax powder into some Mac and cheese. Can't think of a better way to avoid tasting it.
Before you jump in that vagina remember there's a reason we call her Infectonator.
Hydrocodon makes you feel like a fairy made out of pudding
I want to have sex in my car again before I put the car seat back in