Texts From Last Night

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  (616): View more from Michigan

  Why would I want to inherit a sex machine used by my grandma?

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  (616): Why would I want to inherit a sex machine used by my grandma? http://tfl.nu/rtd3
  Replies (4) Good night (426) Bad night (2378) Order T-Shirt
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  (386): View more from Florida

  That girl really should ne nicer to her vagina. It's not a playground.

  (954): View more from Florida

  Apparently hers is a theme park.

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  (386): That girl really should ne nicer to her vagina. It's not a playground. (954): Apparently hers is a theme park. http://tfl.nu/yoy4
  Replies (8) Good night (932) Bad night (1931)
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  (678): View more from Georgia

  Life lesson: if you fart while talking to a girl outside, the smell does not dissipate, it just lingers around mocking you

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  (678): Life lesson: if you fart while talking to a girl outside, the smell does not dissipate, it just lingers around mocking you http://tfl.nu/rkl4
  Replies (5) Good night (531) Bad night (2851) Order T-Shirt
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  (484): View more from Pennsylvania

  I just spent $27 on things to pee on.

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  (484): I just spent $27 on things to pee on. http://tfl.nu/pmzm
  Replies (30) Good night (1369) Bad night (3711) Order T-Shirt
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  (216): View more from Ohio

  I'm bringing poparts in case anyone gets hungry. The trek to frat row is strenuous.

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  (216): I'm bringing poparts in case anyone gets hungry. The trek to frat row is strenuous. http://tfl.nu/a664
  Replies (22) Good night (4247) Bad night (522) Order T-Shirt
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  (501): View more from Arkansas

  there's only 1 girl at Mount St Mary that's a virgin. the Mary statue standing outside

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  (501): there's only 1 girl at Mount St Mary that's a virgin. the Mary statue standing outside http://tfl.nu/1bna
  Replies (85) Good night (6963) Bad night (730) Order T-Shirt
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  (219): View more from Indiana

  she said her black crocs were her 'dress up crocs'

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  (219): she said her black crocs were her 'dress up crocs' http://tfl.nu/aa98
  Replies (38) Good night (1208) Bad night (17169) Order T-Shirt
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  (304): View more from West Virginia

  He just said he wasn't going to drink on Saturday because he was drinking on Thursday and Friday...we need new friends.

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  (304): He just said he wasn't going to drink on Saturday because he was drinking on Thursday and Friday...we need new friends. http://tfl.nu/db22
  Replies (7) Good night (987) Bad night (3273) Order T-Shirt
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  (515): View more from Iowa

  theres a difference between trying to make someone happy and letting them fuck you in the ass

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  (515): theres a difference between trying to make someone happy and letting them fuck you in the ass http://tfl.nu/ckyi
  Replies (39) Good night (4890) Bad night (2618) Order T-Shirt
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  (313): View more from Michigan

  Being at this bar with grandma is a real cockblocker

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  (313): Being at this bar with grandma is a real cockblocker http://tfl.nu/hydd
  Replies (12) Good night (2796) Bad night (2558) Order T-Shirt
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  (603): View more from New Hampshire

  4 am. She strained the mac and cheese onto her legs. She has no skin.

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  (603): 4 am. She strained the mac and cheese onto her legs. She has no skin. http://tfl.nu/zsng
  Replies (16) Good night (849) Bad night (6562) Order T-Shirt
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  (817): View more from Texas

  No no no...you park the car, stick your tongue down his throat, slip your number in his pocket, invite him to insomnia, and THEN LEAVE. You go from awkward to epic in a matter of seconds.

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  (817): No no no...you park the car, stick your tongue down his throat, slip your number in his pocket, invite him to insomnia, and THEN LEAVE. You go from awkward to epic in a matter of seconds. http://tfl.nu/9tr4
  Replies (11) Good night (2174) Bad night (487)
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  (860): View more from Connecticut

  You told her to step on the scale because you had whiskey goggles, and scales don't lie.

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  (860): You told her to step on the scale because you had whiskey goggles, and scales don't lie. http://tfl.nu/zzfj
  Replies (17) Good night (3264) Bad night (861) Order T-Shirt
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  (227): View more from Maryland

  He ate me out in the forest at that park we used to hit my bong in highschool again, somehow this isn't what I pictured being 25 would be like

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  (227): He ate me out in the forest at that park we used to hit my bong in highschool again, somehow this isn't what I pictured being 25 would be like http://tfl.nu/muep
  Replies (13) Good night (1230) Bad night (408) Order T-Shirt
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  (971): View more from Oregon

  you taught an eight year old how to shotgun a half pint of chocolate milk, that's all i'm saying

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  (971): you taught an eight year old how to shotgun a half pint of chocolate milk, that's all i'm saying http://tfl.nu/m75c
  Replies (8) Good night (1435) Bad night (300) Order T-Shirt

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