i permit you to call me
Your therapist is not going to think that you using your vagina as revenge is okay
FYI, when you wake up, please note that I puked in your shoes because I sstubbed my tooee, not becus I was drunk.
Im at target. Idk why I'm buying condoms AND a tutu for my cat. No one who dresses their cat up has ever gotten laid.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He brought her home and fucked her in a gingerbread man costume in a cardboard rapunzel castle. He had a pretty good night.
Can we put this graduation on the shelf figuratively and go drink
we dropped acid in chinatown. worst. idea. ever. too many colors. and nobody has any idea where steve is.
too bad we didn't bet. my 38-1 tears would have made great lubrication for a blow job.
I vote we just hike, drink, and destroy dick
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You know you're high when you find yourself sitting on the floor with the refrigerator door open, talking to various foods. Hand gestures and all.
Sometimes I wish I could tell all my past/present hookups what the nicknames that my friends and I have assigned them.
Was I just dreaming, or was there a corpse at work last night?
She was just sleeping.
Is it bad that I'm kind of disappointed by that?
someone is getting fuckign RAWDOGGED on this campus as we speak and it makes me FURIOUS
Yep. Just fucked a 34 year old on the football field where we both went to high school. That's a story for the grandkids.
So I guess I walked across campus with "pat my ass" in sharpie on my forehead.
You deserve it, you colossal cock block.
Randomize