sometimes i shoot so far i amaze even myself.
Whats the glycemic index on semen?
I don't call you at 3 in the morning to start a fucking relationship.
i dont know if you remember blowing your vomity nose directly into my hand...yeah thanks for that
i looked up and she was looking over the stall watching me pee and told me to unlock the door. that dedicated to sucking my dick.
I had ketchup on my elbow and a random girl goes "I got it" and licked it off, only on game day
Learned a valuable life lesson last night. It's titled "Tequila: Still A Bad Idea".
Pretty sure I was rubbing Halloween candy all over my face and saying "these are my bitches."
I didnt finish. My brain kept playing the duck tales theme thru the entire blow job
He tried to do the do on me last night and my exact words were "stay away from my princess parts. they're renovating."
I'm trying to find a fanny pack so I can bring pizza on my run
Last night was just a whirlwind of Mario Brothers and sex.
Cheyanne in woods. Ducks attacked. My toe is bleeding. We are gpsing our way home on foot. No worries
in fetal position in his closet not sure if he knows im here... hugging his spongebob cake pan i stole.... now please come find me..
He was cute in a Sketchy-trying-to-sell-you-a-vaccum-at-9-at-night kinda way.
Randomize
