And then I said "flip over. I want to show you something i learned in Afghanistan."
Fun fact: when I ripped off my wristband, I punched myself in the face. Rad
omg. why did you never tell me how amazing shitting and smoking is?
i thought this knowledge was automatically promulgated at the age of eighteen?
The cops found weed in michael jacksons house today...it makes up for the child molesting, I like him more now.
how do i word it so it doesnt sound like im asking him if he has ever been in jail.
I think he liked me better when I only opened my mouth to suck his dick.
I don't know how, but he made a bong out of a hamster wheel. To say I am impressed is an understatement.
Yes, but if I hadn't gotten here early, I never would have seen the butch lesbian midget waddling down stairs from the bar. Worth every minute of drinking alone.
You woke up, laughed, proceeded to throw up on me and then passed out again.
I am "lost the control of my head" high right now.
You woke us up at 9:15 am still in your toga from last night saying "welcome to my house party...party". You had already filled up the pong cups with yaager/fireball and ordered a chicken platter... Who even delivered that that early???
One day soon I'll learn the difference between a good high and way too high. Today is not the day.
Yeah he drove 30 minutes at 3 AM to come fuck me in my neighbors treehouse
He sent me a dick pic. I am fighting the urge to send him a "sorry for your loss" card.
So you're saying that I ended up challenging a dude to Uno then proceed to punch them in the face?
Randomize
