Its way too early to be sitting naked at his dining room table...
I told him that he is like a snow storm I never know when he is coming, how many inches I will get, or how long it will last
Just took career test that listed librarian and bartender as top career choices. Fascinating.
Taking shots out of pine wood derby trophiesssssss. best idea ever.
we cut her off and put her in bed but by the time we got back to the drinks she was already there shirtless. she's the topless tequila ninja
I literally recorded a toilet flushing to make it his ringtone to remind me what a piece of shit he is
I think shooting the BMW with the bow and arrow is when our group became the evening's antagonist
Apparently it is frowned upon to ask the bouncer to stop pointing his flashlight in your face and step back so you can puke....and then do it
The fuck-me-pumps were hot, the XL hoody kinda ruined it.
I mentioned your name at this party and some girl started crying.
Some older looking guy gave me his card as he exited the train. Hes a pharmaceutical rep. I'm debating asking him for a job. Obv he wants sex but if I can get a job out of this maybe I can offer him more than a cheap dry handjob bc that's all I'm really up for these days
I believe the question is can one ever have too many vibrators?
I'm still home, my life isn't together. Currently drying my pants
You know youre getting old when you I.D. the person trying to take you home to be sure they're over 25. Help me.
Shame - the story of my life.
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