i just looked up and i was like omg ballsack and then i didnt know what to do
Going to a jewelry store high is not a good idea. I look like mr.t's wife.
I got 70 on my final, or put differently, I got a "still graduating" on my final.
Stage 55 clinger. not a typo. I cannot even believe this shit.
For future reference, when you see people who look like Rosie O'donell, do not tell them they look like Rosie O'donell.
I spent an hour trying to convert bar outfits to church outfits. Its hard.
No driving. The car is spinning. I am praying for mcdonalds.
He leaned in to kiss me and I dodged him but i fell on the floor. I guess I never got up cuz I woke up on the floor and he was in his bed
thanks for waiting 12 hours to ask if I was in a ditch or not
Is it wrong that I want to take the baby bump in her facebook pictures as "meal-ticket"?
She is the absolute last thing I would want to screw. Honestly. Fellating a porcupine. Higher on the list.
I wish I had a clear image of the dude who was sucking on my tit outside the bar last night
Nothing says "I'm sorry for shitting in your bed" like an Olive Garden gift card
you have 30 seconds to convince me not to grab this guy's crotch in front of his girlfriend
Upon further investigation my nipples are bruised and I have teeth marks all over.
Randomize
