I thought you should know that you passed out in your trash can last night.
Thanks for throwing up on me.
I showed him my bush... on skype.
Her brother is deaf.
no wonder she was so good with her hands
The heaters out again. Makin a fire in thebroke toilet for warmth.
Petting the cat and listening to "you've got a friend". This is why I smoke weed. To make sense of situations like this.
After we drank 3, we built a raft out of the empties and installed the fourth submerged In the water to keep it cool. Keg boats are now a thing
my vagina is starting to think like a penis, and I'm not even slightly worried
Why the fuck is he under my phone as Papi Chulo?
Also I stopped in the middle of the road and put my hazards on because BUNNIES WERE PLAYING
Oh no. Did you guys fuck on my pull out couch?
GUESS WHOSE BEST FRIEND IS OUT OF PRISON!
You make any dick jokes involving sushi and there WILL be consequences.
Sushi is fucking sacred in this house and I will kill you if you try and taint that.
Whose panties are you wearing on your head and why are you sending me pics of it?
How was that girls surprise party last night?
Got absolutely destroyed tried to put somebody's leather jacket on and make out with their mother. You know.. the norm
Julius Caesar had a huge penis
WTF are you reading?
Ha ha! No, the guy in the Caesar costume last night. We hooked up. His dick was huge
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