you know he's having a sex change. I can't believe you called him "titty man" to his face....
9 beers later and she still looks like Gary Busey.
You tired to make Beefaroni in the Mr. Coffee machine.
Dude I pulled down his pants and he already had a condom on
She just did a bodyshot off herself. I don't care that it's only seven thirty, come pick her up.
she said i was like a little lamb and she felt bad for luring me into her den of sin. then she blew me.
Being a virgin isn't supposed to be this easy for you.
"willing to pay anyone fun whos willing to hang out and laugh at my jokes while my friends are MIA" is this to desperate?
The ONLY reason I am doing laundry is because all my sweatpants are dirty.
the shoes thing blows my mind idk how the fuck i did that and im also missing 4 of my birth control pills like did i drunkenly decide to overload my body with estrogen
I don't know what you're doing this morning, but obtaining Plan B is my number-one priority.
Tbh you just need to fuck it out like I don't know another solution
I swear to god, no guy has been as interested in sticking stuff up my butt as this girl
I'm naked, eating straight Nutella, and listening to "Make you feel my love" on repeat. So no. He didn't ask me out.
Something in me snapped and now I’m just googling famous vegans.
this bedazzled flask is my best investment yet
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