My right nipple has been called many things but never a ghost pig
I can do anything tonight that doesnt involve an erection.
Just made hot dog dorito pasta. It happened.
I don't know if it's the amount i drank last night or the number of taylor swift statuses on facebook but i feel like puking everywhere
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
These shoes are way too nice for a walk of shame. Its how I keep myself in line.
I wonder if they have a "21st birthday" section in the hospital..
It turns out tequila bombs is really code for straight shots of tequila…who would have guessed?
dude to be honest with you there is a used condom that ive just left on my floor for three days
you have got to get your shit together
Try not to get arrested for it, but otherwise i support you
He's CUTE. and foreign
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Frankly, since I met you, I practically exist in a state of constant readiness for sex
I feel like captain Morgan put his peg leg up my ass
I was a little curious what "unspeakable" things he could possibly do to my feet
YOUR TO-DO SEX LIST CANNOT CONSIST ENTIRELY OF MY THREE BEST FRIENDS
and their significant others
AND THEIR SIGNIFICANT OTHERS
we had sex while we waited for the thai food... a which will come first type of situation
come pick your gf up from my house. she's sitting in the fridge and hissing at the cat to let her eat the potatoes. btw i dont have a cat
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