I'm jammin out to some Brit Birt, she's still my bitch, I love her crazy ass
ofcourse shes the first one pregnant. wasnt she the one who asked the middle school health teacher how many calories are in sperm?
Good news. I heard back from the doctor and I don't have a liver problem.
...yet.
Alright whatever you say... But in the future when you really wish you had a dildo don't come crying to me about it.
Drunk and alone at a magic show is what my life has become without you
When asked if they had been introduced, Damo said "No but I know we've pretty much fucked all the same girls in town"
3-9 out of 10... Depends on the situation. Taco Bell is more of an idea than a restaurant.
How stoned are you?
Know anything about my roof collapsing last night?
Tequila.
There is no issue with you seeing me...morally or ethically. we'll update your resume anyway. I really need to have sex with you later. Really
It's 4am & this guy is asleep with his junk still inside me..really rethinking my life
And for some reason every time I get drunk I just want to tell you that I have a mini secret personal fan club of your dick
Nothing like casual arson to brighten your day
Now after not puking, next step is not to do the accent when immigration says "hello."
I don't see why I have to pay for it.
your head went through the window, you're pretty much obligated to pay for it.
Lol. I liked you the most when we were banging random girls and trying to tag team everything. You were happier then.
Randomize
