Uggggg i want to leave and get bombed over baghdad
Good thing you left when you did - ended up getting banned from jimmy johns.
I'm actually pretty neutral about a lot of things. I'm like Switzerland with a penis.
this is the last time we take the mathletes drinking.
Yes perhaps we are both wrong. And did you call me bj girl?
on the subway to an interview & there's a dude doing whippits out of a cheese wil can
I feel like we should actually go to church one of these days to thank god for saving us from herpes and babies.
Can we please get on skype for like 20 seconds so i can show you my penis and the spiderman temporary tattoo that is right above it
It's Wednesday. And it's about that time to remind everyone that my priorities from last weekend have not changed moving forward into this weekend.
So what exactly does one do when my driver gets a DUI and is now arrested and I'm still hiding in the trunk?
Wow. Last night.
I knew you were shit blasted when you called me your "sunflower queen"
We were watching sports center while I blew him so we could see the football highlights. I missed fall
sarahs drunk and is drawing dinosaurs all over the apartment. should i stop her?
whats she drawing them with?
eyeliner
no that's ok
I missed you last night. I'm sure he will never forget the night i sang my heart will go on into his penis like a microphone
I accidentally stubbed my dick
What does that even mean?
Randomize
