did i leave my keys in your car? BTW: sorry for throwing that drink on your date.
If she's not going to maintain the upkeep of her vag then I'm not going to pay the rent of being her boyfriend
For the whole 7 seconds I lasted, I was in heaven.
some guy just got out of his chair quietly. Laid down on the floor and is now asleep in between rows in my lecture hall. He must have had a rough night.
I lost my virginity in that bed. You just layed in history.
they said he just opened the front of his shirt and threw up alll over himself
He offered to take me out to a nice dinner but I told him I would rather he just pay for my beer this weekend
Just got done fucking the squirter chick. She came when we were in a 69. I now know what it's like to be water boarded.
I'm just glad you're the only person I can have a "remember when we thought I was pregnant" conversation with.
I'm at a nursing home getting weed. Lol when times are tough, things tend to get a lil weird
This cabbie knows where I live. Both awesome and weird.
Worse. He's Mormon. At least a gay guy will go get drinks with me.
Sometimes having a penis is like having a really stupid drunk best friend. You see it doing dumb shit but you're just not the one in charge.
I noticed it at one point and thought do I really wanna bang the guy with the phone holster .....of course I do
i dunno dude, he took his shirt off and is rubbing jello shots on himself. i think he's done
Randomize
