So I walked out of my room and there was my brother....standing naked
So I went outside my house this morning and basically my entire front lawn is covered in gummi bears... I think that involves you guys.
just found preset five on the shower head...pretty sure my pussy just had a panic attack
Don't judge me. He's really sexy for a 17 year old. We made nasty in the womens bathroom at the beach. Don't worry. I wore sandals in there.
None of that is ok.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No, I think it was the night I threw up in her front yard. You're thinking of the time I threw up in her backyard.
We've been broken up for 7 months. His mom sent me a card with a brochure inside titled "How at Risk for STD's are you?"
I feel like a fucked a broomstick last night. You get a gold star.
Can you please reassure him im not a scary or intimidating person? And that really my entire life is a series of completely ridiculous events that have led me here?
I really hope you are not drunk feeding a raccoon.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There was a half eaten cheeseburger on my coffee table. Guess I made it to McDonald's.
Except if I'm having sex. In which case you're in the bed with us or out of the room. No halfsie participation.
The beer shits the day after completing the World Beer Tour at Epcot are just as epic as the tour itself.
Although now I have "number of cheese slices" as a unit of boob measurement in my head.
Just accidentally walked into a parade for Jesus
Within the first 2 minutes of this morning, I found out the Lions lost on last play, and Scott Weiland died. I wont be in today.
Randomize