We succumbed to passion, and then he had to go meet his girlfriend. End of story.
hey. who tried to drive me home last night?
not sure. we got lost. what do you mean "tried"?
i'm still in their car. parked on the beach. no one else is here. i have on different pants.
Jake just asked if thanksgiving was an american thing...I left the table
Dude, she puked up her Plan B, then reached in the toilet and re-swallowed it. That chick does NOT want a baby
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What's the policy for hitting on a girl at a funeral? She seems more bored than sad.
Bring single women, or taken women who are unhappy with their relationships, or women who are happy with their relationships but have low moral standards, or women who just like to remove clothing when drunk (relationship status is unimportant for this option)
I just finished packing for spring break, took me 4 minutes. To be fair though I only put my trunks, a pair of underwear, and 50 condoms in my bag.
Do you miss the park or do you miss us having sex in public?
I should make a collage of all the pictures of me caught doing slutty things
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But on the plus side, what he lacked in size he made up for with speed. And grunting.
Idk man, we spent like 20 mins arguing about the moral ambiguity of fucking in someone else's car
I'm storing dick pics, so basically if I'm still single after residency...ur gonna get bombarded. It's gonna be a blizzard of dicks.
Feel free to keep your blizzard of dicks to yourself.
The last time I saw you, you were giving the stripper a lap dance.
Did anyone see us fucking last night on the giant turtle outside downtown Disney?
Plus my parents would be pissed if I spent Thanksgiving in jail... again.
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