It must be a full moon weekend. All of my weird booty calls are coming out of the woodwork. I spent 40 minutes on the phone last night telling one why he is so creepy.
16 and pregnant actually makes me really happy that i'm gay
you can't get genital warts from dogs can you?
I just found a beer bottle in my xmas tree while disassembling it. God, I'm going to miss the holidays.
I am highly attracted to the men and that's all i can say. I do not clap and make noises but i do turn to the side and say how i'd do incredible things to them if given the chance
This is a whole other level of drinking. Like the I used to eat paste with these people kinda drinking.
His penis without viagra is what breaks my heart.
I feel like every picture I upload of him on facebook where you can see his purity ring, I should make the caption "something in this picture does not belong"
They fucked on my pong table last St. Patty's and broke it. I feel like I should be hiding my new one. Would hate for a tradition to form.
I just remember going to take a piss and looking down on the floor and thinking "that looks comfortable" and then I was out.
I'm offering you baseball tickets and my vagina, isn't that enough?
I came in and I guess my parents didn't hear me. My dad just said "Don't be lazy, RIDE IT." to my mom. Never coming home again.
I need something for rope burns and an inner ear infection. Separate incidents, FYI..
I told him I was studying his body for art, so now I have to actually do a drawing of him to not look like a creep and so we can hook up again.
I’m a lady. I promise I won’t oogle your junk when we go skinny dipping.
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