the only thing i have to deal with now is the fact that i'm still wearing spandex shorts from last night
Now that the olympics are over we have no excuse for getting belligerently drunk for nationalism every night.
It's my fault there's ramen coiled around his penis.
we're havin a 400 loko party for joe pa's 400th win. come get loko
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The thing is you're all "holy crap this isn't nearly as bad as I thought pissing on my own face would be."
I feel like my vagina stays drunk longer than the rest of me. It's always super sensitive and hungry the day after drinking.
For my 21st birthday, I require a kiddy pool filled with vodka. Make it so.
I think I broke a hole in her wall trying to do backflips
Smoked a topless bowl this morning. For International Women's Day. Quite liberating.
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Just found out I own a pyramid. Fuck your good grades, I'm living in my pyramid.
He asked for a foot job. Whatever. I guess I'm swimming in new slut waters tonight.
You could make a naked club. One member, you. One president, you.
at least its a cool name to shout when he's balls deep in you later
He caught me mid-escape...one leg out the window, bra n thong in hand.I just looked at him and said "Bye Now" n proceeded to fall out his window....then.... tell me why he texted me 30 min later to make sure i got home ok! #igotthis
and please, if you feel the urge to call me crying tomorrow night, do so. i will be home bored and sober.
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