before i could say "i'm not that kind of girl", i was.
WE WERE REALLY IN A PORNO LAST NIGHT
writing the newer testament. It's the 3rd for the series. I'll update u the rule changes later.
I just found out that my father was a Human condom for halloween when I was 4. And to think I used to wonder where my sense of humor came from.
She kept saying my hands are a cupcake factory
Im in Ft Meyers right now looking right at an alligator. I have had a couple of beers and people are telling me not to feed him but Im gonna do it anyway.
czant get you from the arport. sry i found the rum. dan sucks at rumpong jusrt so yo knoqw.
Breakfast tacos?
YOU ARE A FOUNTAIN OF GREAT IDEAS
Yeah, we agreed, but I feel like I need at least one more ride on the bonecoaster
No he can't come. I swear to gods he's "Why We Can't Have Nice Things" given physical form.
We've had gay sex and pie, the holiday season has officially begun.
It will be the shitshow of all shitshows.
I put miralax in my rum/coke. Go hard or go home.
Have you ever drank bourbon in your underwear while wearing a Santa hat and reflecting on the decisions of your life? Asking for a friend.
I opened my eyes to the dog snorting coke, I decided it was best to just close my eyes and forget what I saw
Randomize
