Woo Hoo! Just saw Asian kids with rocker mullets. Tried to get a picture on my phone, but you know how those ninjas are.
gettin pulled by a cop with a camera crew. gonna flee. want my 15 min of fame on cops.
he has 3 profile pictures up and all of them are him riding jet skis
i knew you were okay when you wanted to eat in the ambulance
just woke up to find an unpeeled banana, with a condom on, halfway into my vagina. this better not be you trying to be funny
I was just about to send a concerned text until I opened my door and saw a shopping cart. I'm glad you made it home in one piece and with toys.
She alternated between blowing me and feeding me bites of the sandwich she made for me.
Then he said something about how from that angle I looked just like his mom.
Eating my shrimp pasta on the porch with a 40, wearing a Hawaiian shirt, proclaiming "I GOT SCRIMPS." I just jumped the shark of college.
Sweating vodka and spray tan, I feel like a trophy wife.
I woke up with what appeared to be LSD in my pocket. Know anything about this?
Her blow jobs are legen wait for it seriously like 9 people I know brag about them dary
Congrats! Its a fuck boy!
So I got cockblocked by our relationship status last night
Oh no. He's definitely text-flirting with me. No straight man over 30 has any other excuse to use so many smiley faces...
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