I told u I don't really remember everything lol i pretty much remember not lasting as long as I norm and that I wore a condom, I hate condoms
Just shaved my legs with toilet water in a walgreens bathroom. I am so classy.
I don't know what you're doing, but there's a dragon on my street.
A-plus on my thesis. I deserve the blowjob to end all blowjobs. And I wanna wear a crown while you do it.
how did the keg end up in the top bunk?
I just discovered the Reese's pieces and sourdough bread sandwich. No signs of coming down.
He is just lying there. People are throwing money onto his chest as they walk by...
She asked me to go inside, make myself a drink and slip into something a little more naked.
SOMEONE WITH THE TWITTER HANDLE "METHLAB" FAVORITED THAT PICTURE
Still drunk on my morning "run" which has turned into a walk. Just burped fireball
Well shove his head down there and tell him not to stop til we have a new president!
I think you are severely overestimating being able to get your lingerie back by posting the lyrics of Irreplaceable
She looked so much better when u didn't look at her and the music was too loud to hear her
I'm glad he doesn't have a bigger dick because he'd just use it for evil anyway
He made her leave because she liked Top-Ramen better than Maruchaun. He's my hero.
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