I have had it with that bitchy sack of crazy. Iam done!
best part he said "i like your tattoo" as he walked into the room, stood right there looking at me, naked on top of his friend
he said no sex till date three. i said the party was one, mcdonalds two and that i would take him with me to buy cigs for date three.
I've decided to turn your sobriety into a reason for me to be able to drink more.
he started drinking at 9am with grey goose and pancakes. He IS my hero.
Oh so it was one of those "I shouldn't have gotten in a cab with a random 21 year old girl" kinda nights.
Showed up 2 hours late and still drunk nobody gave me a high five. This intership is bullshit.
You hid from a cop under some guy's canoe on his lawn.. It didnt work
You guys bombarded us in the bathroom and that kid whipped his dick out and peed in the sink.
During your work shift I was either: a) stoned. b) high. c)stoned. or d) high.
I think when Jesus turned water into wine it was a sign that we should get drunk off Sangria tonight. Do it for Jesus. He died for your sins.
It looks like I jerked off a rainbow.
Have you ever hotboxed under your comforter? Best. Decision. Ever.
Just remember, the Browns have more wins than Ronda Rousey this year.
You just kinda wondered into the street and started screaming at dogs and small children...
Randomize
