we were having sex in the shower and he dropped me. try explaining THAT to your concerned little brother
the cure to his relationship is in or around my vagina.
some random kid just walked into our apartment with two cases... I don't know who he is but I like him
apparently there was a flour fight and couch sex...
i just was bootyclappin in front of homeless men in a back alley
Unless you consider jello shots food the answer is no there is no dinner here. When u get food get more wine too tired of you coming over drinking all my booze and destroying my vagina
You did it first. I was merely expressing my support for you, by pressing my testicles against a window.
it's like his dick is making a u-turn.
I can't feel the bottom half of my face but i feel like our sex would be amazing
I can now recognize that when my wine bottle reaches a certain point, I probably shouldn't tweet, text or call anyone. RESPONSIBILITY
You also spilled beer on my dog and tried to wipe it off with a paper towel but he kept getting away from you.
You were peeing off the rooftop and told everyone sometimes you just gotta go
We could never date. He doesn't drink and he won't bring me tacos after sex. He's on that healthy life bullshit.
I'm sitting naked on my bathroom floor and it remind me of us.
That's my way of saying I miss you
I've been trying to masturbate for the longest time now and so far I've accomplished getting tangled in my computer battery cord and phone charger and hitting my knee on my laptop.
Randomize
