i just saw a homeless guy running after a pigeon, catch it and put it in his jacket pocket. I'm not sure if the bird is now his pet or dinner!
Omg. Well, welcome to Oakland...
She was having a seizure right in front of you, and you asked, "So there's no more donuts?"
Some drunk couple just made out on the sidewalk and it reminded me some sweet moments we have shared...
maybe these stereotypes wouldn't come up if you would stop taking body shots off another
Last I remember we played rock paper scissors for who would fuck the guy with cowboy boots on and I won..
Apparently drunk me thought it was time for a career change. I woke up with a message from Mcdonalds saying that I was hired as the new cashier.
This family outing has commenced with me throwing up in an apple orchard
HOW IS IT EARTHLY POSSIBLE TO DO THAT MUCH DAMAGE WITH JUST MY THUMBS?? HOW???
The dog just shocked himself by peeing on Christmas lights, should I have saw that coming?
A picture of a damn cupcake brought back 3 fuckboys
there is such a gross feeling of satisfaction when the married guy i used to hook up with likes my facebook status.
If your talking about a poncho I WANT ONE
so I just realized.. of my 70k student loan debt, most of it went toward bar tabs, eightballs, and sweet-ass ties to wear to gamedays and other people's weddings. I think about shit like this while I'm at my mid-level management position. you know. "working."
Look upon your future, America, and despair.
so do you remember taking your shirt off and just standing in your bra at the bar or no?
Nobody on Tinder wants to give you a Blumpkin.
Randomize
