If my vagina had boots, it would be shaking in them.
It didn't go so well. He got drunk and asked my dad if 'front or back' virginity mattered more.
pretty sure i had my hand down BOTH their pants at the same time at some point...
i pounded out a 17-yr-old on saturday night
no, that is not a typo
i turned her down on fri night, googled the state consent laws & then caved on saturday
today is monday, i feel like we should do something illegal
We decided we needed a drinks fridge in our bathroom.
He's so young, I keep getting a mental image of him in footie pajamas. It's cute but it's wrong. Or is it?
Soo I woke up in the storage room at best western....I dont even know what say
Can't tell if its the LSD or if that demon man just stared at my penis. Cleveland is a weird place. All true stories.
there was 'chicken suit porn' in my search history.......also 'scuba diving porn'
He stared me down while singing "Let Me Love You" to me while we were having sex. I don't know whether to marry him or file a restraining order.
There are days when you go to throw something in your bedroom trash can and realize the only things in there are a used condom, a Lime-arita can and a muffin wrapper.
I just want to eat my penis shaped food in front of you and see how you feel about it.
Thanks for letting me cross "getting high at park with children" off my bucket list
Is that your Nuva ring on the floor? Shit must have gotten crazy
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