see you put your penis in her and it's like an ignition key to start the crazy
I dont think punching her boob is the type of reverse psychology that will get her to blow you.
you came home soaking wet, and when I asked where your umbrella was, you pulled it out of your bag and were so proud you kept it dry.
It was only 12:11 and I needed to make a Pepto Latte and call it a night, I don't remember that being part of my new years resolution.
Did I crawl through the hotel lobby all the way to our room?
For months it was all good and well just having sex. Now, something in me has snapped and I'm dreaming of taking turtleneck Christmas pictures with him. Fuck you, we're going out tonight. I need this.
And is it bad that I haven't talked to guys who I haven't already dated? I feel like a recycle bin.
You are the funniest drunk Jew I know. Never in my life have I witnessed someone respond, "Is your dick kosher?" while being picked-up on.
Mom just sent me an email. The subject line is "How to avoid a urinary tract infection"
LET IT GO MOM
If you sleep with him again I'll have you spayed
By NOT going to the gym, I'm helping my future. I don't want stripping, prostitution, or porn to be viable money making options.
The minute he showed me his Mumford and sons tattoo is the minute i could literally feel my pussy dry up
just had sex in the back of my high school auditorium #dreamcumtrue
He makes me want to cheat on my other 3 boyfriends..
I'm not gonna lie. I need sex like plants need water right now. I just need the dick.
Randomize
