so craigslist just dropped their "erotic services" ads. there goes our livelyhood
Aren't I supposed to sit on your face?
you know he's having a sex change. I can't believe you called him "titty man" to his face....
Someone's playing Limp Bizkit out loud on the train. I think the decade reset it self.
i hooked up with some kid with a broken arm and he wouldnt even let me sign his cast
I think I should just go up to him and say, "before I invest time in this could I just take a look at your penis?"
They are currently going door-to-door asking the neighbors to donate money for Cheez-Its and gift wrap. They asked me to stay back at the house to make another pitcher of margaritas.
A guy at one of our big accounts just said you probably dont remember meeting me saturday night ps you were right about those two girls being lesbian
Weekend plan is a big bag of dope, delivery food, Bollywood marathon and masterbating my dick raw.
We should just do therapy together, clearly we have all the same issues. It's why we are friends.
Sex with you deserves a trophy and a day of remembrance in honor of it.
Does sweetest day count when you're spending it with your fuck buddy, high and eating Pizza Hut?
He's really cute...He stopped talking to me because i pulled my skirt up and peed in a demi plie position...
I just saw a guy walking down the street without a shirt on and holding a samari sword....
I got sriracha sauce on my mask while I was eating fast food, now wearing it makes me hungry
Randomize
