We can make salsa ya know, maybe even some hot sauce. That doesn't mean we're married.
Hulk Hogan has now convinced 2 women to marry him & I have yet to have a successful or healthy relationship. I am officially depressed.
its great to know that you distinguish your relationships on whether you can cum on someone's face
seriously who else gets carried home puking from a fucking mary kay party?
she kept her crown on the whole time i was giving her birthday sex
He may or may not be blacked out. We put him to sleep in the community bathroom. He's wrapped in your blanket and he's already puked on it twice. Using your blanket was my idea. Maybe next time you'll ask before taking my vodka.
She just took the bottle of jager to the bathroom and locked the door. Now I hear the water running..if the house floods she's paying for it
just an fyi, false alarm on the whole ghonnorea thing. you're safe.
Its okay I walked into your house, searched for my wallet in your purse, and took a shot of Tequilia all without eye contact, right?
I was woken up at 4am by a stranger shaking my foot who said I looked like I needed a cigarette.
Dude I've kinda accepted I may leave Nola with the clap.
CORAL IS FAR MORE RED THAN HER LIPS RED
Oh god you're Sonnet 130 drunk, aren't you.
They were scared I was going to get lost last night so they dressed me up as Waldo so someone would always find me.
I was thrusting to the beat of Felix Navidad..
I mean seriously with your cock and my tits combined we could rule the world. Pinky and the brain style
Randomize
