Did you dl zombie porn on my computer?
Why is there a case of Coors Light with my address on it?
Listening to her yell about my drinking problem is not helping my hangover.
After we did it I noticed she was wearing the same underwear as last night.
That's why you don't sleep with the same girl two nights in a row man!
You just kept mumbling, "Shit shit shit, the muffin man owes me money." Repeatedly.
How's work?
Spinning.
Should you consider yourself out of control when everyone at the party is cheering you on while you're puking, and on the last heave you act like you're rolling dice right before the finale???
The fire breather is here so I may get my second wind.
All I kmoe is rheres a coffee pot full pf vodka in my purse
Just got motor boated by a horse in the street
Traveling before 21 and traveling after 21 are two different things. There's a whole nother world of red white and blue weird out there
You told me to ditch them in the park, and when she jumped onto the car to stop us, you told me to scrape her off against a parked Jeep. That drunk.
I was a battlefield of empty bottles and bodies. We though we won, but the booze had the last laugh.
I was standing in my mom's kitchen in only my neon green thong, eating pizza over the garbage can, and sobbing while he was yelling at me.
I love you. Doing a double. Going to die. It will be painful. Let the world know i partied. God, did i party.
Randomize
