Taljing aboutpenisrs w gerruly ska pops
im too high. i could barely wash my hair, let alone handle a whole shower
the vast amounts of cleavage i'm sporting to my final says "no, I didn't study but don't worry I've got something lined up for when I don't graduate".
But i guess when you use blowjob as a verb you are entitled to some language allowances
I'm going to look like a jackass in the Mexican newspaper tomorrow.
his blanket is still in the back seat of my car, its like a constant reminder of his small penis
Valentines day isn't about being a couple in love..... It's about chocolate and faking orgasms.
I fucking give up. OKC is where small penises go to disappoint me.
First roommate to find me and dance with me will live. Battle Royale.
scratch that I can tell you where she is shes drunk on a beach somewhere being a penis slayer
Giiiirl. Just had a BM that almost killed me.
I was trying to remember why my knees hurt then I remembered I was twerking on the countertops.
I got wine drunk and bought a hedgehog.
I gotta stop fucking the bouncers. We are running out of bars to go to.
What happened?
Vodka. Vodka happened.
Randomize
