There is a guy standing at my bar right now wearing an affliction SUIT. I can't wait on him.
So I wake up this morning with a bottle of dish detergent and a dildo. Good call on bringing those girls from community college.
If Amber from Teen Mom can get a new boyfriend, so can I.
I wore my front clasp bra so he would have to prove his sobriety to me before we had sex.
I couldn't function. I was to the point where I was using a bottle cap as a monocle.
You stumbled in the house, mumbled something about a cheese party, grabbed a block of cheese and the whiskey, and left.
my mom just left...time to break out that water bottle of wine that I sewed into my teddy bear
Well, I washed his beard with dish soap and then I fucked him three times.
Times have changed. Freshman year I could throw my shirt in a bonfire and still get laid. Now when I puke in my girlfriend's bed on her birthday I'm "an asshole"
He started to lick a stick of butter and was calling it Jennifer.
I tried to put my heels in the coat check
Lol yeah. Because I just woke him up to blow him for being hot.
He's being awfully beer snobby for a guy who ordered salad
he was Irish, I had to have sex with him.
I found my bra I wore on Friday night...he fucked the underwire out of it
hahahahaha
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