I have big tits. Rules don't apply to me.
She told me that she had to rub her face against me because she was part cat.
but then i turned into a human whiteboard because i thought it was a good idea to bring out markers
Think worst case scenario and then dress sluttier
The homeless guy out front said it's his birthday and he asked us to join him for happy hour after work. He's buying a fifth of gin to celebrate.
I mean two cocks this time. Trust me, I'm not gonna pull the same stunts as last time in this situation
Dude. I'm busy doing PR for America. FOR AMERICA. Europeans think we can't handle liquor.
Hey my vagina is like a company. Everyone has an equal opportunity....
(This is the second time ive been high enough to decide to run for office)
Thinking of someone think of me while masturbating while I masturbate. & that's how the over thinkers do it ✌️
He won't leave and I need to take a shit and vomit, quite possibly at the same time.
It's like "hey I give your roommate blowjobs twice a week, want to connect on LinkedIn?"
AND I NEED A VIKING FUNERAL OR MY GHOST ASS WILL SAUNTER ON OVER AND CASTRATE HIM FOR TECHNICALLY MURDERING ME
And then she grabbed my dick and started singing 'ring ring ring ring banana phone'
Is it too much to ask to have a life partner who has both male and female sex organs that looks cute and sounds like a female Antonio Banderas and likes to get weird?
Randomize
