summer is not the time to consider going full bush.
i am not above fucking your little sister on your bed
Suck a a big bag of reindeer cock bud. Sent from church. See you in hell
You stole her bday cake and shared it with drunk strangers on the street.
So many tools at one table, you'd enjoy my italian family
Apparently, there is a horrible ghonorrea out break at our school. Woo! What a way for Loyola to welcome us back.
he doesn't drink and he's an emt - he'll be our dd for nye in exchange for a threesome tomorrow afternoon.
Thanks for talking me down from peeing on his window last night.
I am now curious as to how you would have aimed.
I feel I should make it clear.....I'm not stalking you, I'm stalking ur dick. You don't even need to talk when you get here. At 4am I think we'd both prefer that anyway.
You disappeared for an hour and showed back up with handfuls of bratwursts and yelled at my girlfriend that if she didn't eat them, that the nazis win
I just recognized Courtney in a crowded Trader Joe's solely by seeing her ass. In other news, I survived the first round of layoffs today.
I'm not sure which feat is more impressive...
My heart feels like a grape in a barrel about to be crushed into wine
Wanna bang and Pregame work? I know you're the manager just promise to not fire me
We laughed, we cried, we fucked, we shirked our familial and work related responsibilities. They could make a movie about the last 40 hours of our lives.
I woke up in the bathroom clutching a stuffed shark. My night was fantastic, thanks for asking.
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