So remember when i bet you that girl uses dick to validate her existence?
...yea
She's valid.
i love rice pilaf. whoever invented that i would give them a hug.
He's a fan of Alicia Keys on Facebook. It doesn't NEED to say 'interested in men'.
Bring your kids so they can distract our kids so we can drink beer in peace.
the ladder is at the bottom of the pool
I just used my glow stick from the dance to find my way in the bathroom to puke. Who wants me on their corporate team
don't say the first was when I crawled under into the dressing room
I had to show the prof your text saying that I could pick up your midterm for you. I covered the part of the screen saying you weren't there because you were about to have morning choke sex.
Her idea of a bathing suit is... well.. she might not actually even know what one is. I've only ever seen her in a pool drunk and fully clothed or attempting to get into a pool but tripping over her pants which are at her ankles. Drunk.
I believe I can fly has to be one of the most inspirational songs of our time. Seriously R. Kelly nailed it
Then he went and peed on those teenagers.
Start warming up your vocal cords, because Fucking With The Windows Open season has arrived.
Sorry for drunkely attacking your best friend with a bow and arrow then loudly crying myself to sleep....PMS?
I just want a relatively mentally stable guy with tattoos and facial hair that loves Captain America as much as I do and will fuck me the way I deserve to be fucked, is that too much to ask for?
shots, cocks, socks. bingo
She's dancing around licking a fork of nutella. She is not sober.
Randomize
