Anyone who says sunshine brings happyness has never woken up with the worst hangover of their life to their window being open and it being a bright shinny day
i was so drunk i stopped mid-blowjob to make sure he i was with my boyfriend and not some random. twice.
I saw you try to drink out of a soda machine at taco bell, don't worry about judging
Wouldn't it be fantastic if the corporate world cared less about about our GPA and focused more on our mastery of social drunkenness?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
ecstacy + fleshlight = not all that upset about being newly single anymore
Just did an entire nights worth of bar crawl in an hour. Boom
I had to run home with my hands covering my tits this morning. How does this keep happening?
The judge mental looks i am getting while looking at porn on my phone sitting in the urgent care waiting room is gonna get way worse when they find out im here to see if im pregnant
We HAVE another bedroom, it's not like I was gunna chain you into the closet. Often.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Literally sitting on my bed in the dark trying not to throw up
I ate too many pot brownies and passed out topless with my boobs painted like the American flag
So after we found out he wasnt throwing up blood in was just hawaiian punch and we all failed breathalyzers the cop drove us around like a taxi and brought us back to the apartment
Just used the word fistfucking in a serious conversation with my professor in front of the class, while making an appropriate and valid point. Win.
she crawled a good forty meters just to whisper in my ear... "dildon't"
But once you are just right and I work my tongue in the right spots and hot wax your balls and inner thighs. I will have you right where I want you.
Who is this?
Oops wrong number
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