i have a feeling tonight will end in rehab
she demanded that I make her breakfast too so im in the bathroom cooking bacon with her straightener
the easter KEGG...out of a drunken typo there arose a new and spectacular holiday tradition
I'm also glad were at the point in our friendship where my vagina talking to you isn't weird
Give me one reason I shouldn't put the phrase "sex emotions" into my essay.
No.
I woke up to him pissing in their fireplace with fairy wings on.
I felt so bad for you. Drunk Rachael wanted nothing more than to crawl into the cop car and give you a hug. Luckily Mollied/Barred out Rachael convinced Drunk Rachael this was a terrible idea. So I ran. I have your keys btw
Challenge: Try to have your balls hanging out in every picture you take tonight
Challenge Accepted
Sober now. I'm really glad I didn't try to make out with that guy who has a pregnant fiance
She was chasing her shots with beefaroni and I think I fell in love.
Would it be creepy if I masturbated with my face in the pillow he slept on last night? Cuz I'm pretty sure that's about to happen
I just did a bump with my mom so I’d sober up for Black Friday shopping
I woke up remembering only that I got pulled over by a cop, then looked over and found that same cop, naked.
Like Napoleon Dynamite?
Exactly like Napoleon Dynamite
But with bacon.
Is that your Nuva ring on the floor? Shit must have gotten crazy
Randomize
