I think we should involve a squid next time we fuck.
u kno there is a reason i dont tell mi friends about u
Did you know even strippers have to have GED's these days??
watching "look who's talking now." getting choked up at the end when they find each other at the cabin
doesn't that movie star kirstie alley and have talking dogs in it? new low...even for you
I only have two new blunt burns this year as opposed to freshman year's 6. This is growing up.
If there was a game called "keeping your legs shut," I would lose every time.
my mom took me to a gay bar and went on and on about all her good times at clubs... i now know where i get it
Go ahead. I tried to back up ur budhism story but she mite be catching on
Dammit. I hoped that would work. Just tell her I'm doing my pilgrmidge to Nepal or something.
i'll just tell him I slept with them both because we needed to compare notes
Things I can say. There is a photo of me pouring whipped cream into a midgets mouth.
We're you guys there last night when everyone started chanting "Nacho Steph"? Someone picked me up, carried me to the nacho cheese and made me do a nacho cheese stand.
drunk in woodshop so don't even say "I SAWWW THIS COMING." I know you're thinking it.
I think the only context in which I'd be comfortable being kidnapped is by a band of baby sloths
Brought some lesbians back to the light side of the force
Yeah plus that night got so disgusting it's basically a repressed memory anyway
We hotboxed his bathroom. going to be a good night
Hotbox went wrong - smoke sets off fire alarm. Firefighters coming
Randomize
