Oh my god he is having a sentimental moment right now.
He just sent me like a really heartfelt confession of love in which he ended with "make the apt, I'll hold your hand while you get your clit pierced."
so that guy from last night texted me saying i flashed half of my extended family last night. so classy.
Pray the makeout fairy visits me this weekend.
The slutty girl scout law, revised for halloween 10: on my honor i will try, to serve my vagina and my shot glass. To hold back friends hair at all voming moments and to live by the sluttly girl scout law.
Just thought i should tell someone im on the roof, if i pass out up here because no one found me, im behind the chimney
critical mistake not lubing the nipples
He sent me $300 worth of sex toys. My clitoris went into hiding after two days.
Seriously. All i can say is im covered in mud, my jaw hurts, i cannot straighten my arm, egg is everywhere, and there is a dead squirrel.
I don't care that you had sex on my bed. I care that you used my lollipop condom. I was saving that for a special occasion
It was a special occasion. Your best friend had crazy awesome sex on your bed. Thank you
i keep replaying things i did last night. and remembering new things. and its a constant cycle of torture
Was the picture of her twerking on a fake plant sufficient?
We are gonna play a game I like to call what the fuck is in my pocket
i swear a herd of elephants who like to smoke weed lives directly above our room
I just deff did the walk of shame.. His roommate/manager woke us up. A dog scared me on my stumble to the car.
This is why I'm single.
He ate me out on the front lawn of the post office. The people in the office across the road definitely got a show!
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