But I'm halfway naked in a seductive pose! I just want to get this right...
I kissed a girl and did not like it. Now I hate Katy Perry even more.
he thought i was passed out so he proceeded to jerk off while i lay on the floor next to him
I brought red and green boonsfarm to the white elephant party. classy and festive. I think this is what people are referring to when they talk about killing two birds with one stone.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just hit on a fat chick so shed buy me a drink. Then i walked away. Nice to see how the other half lives.
Life is so much better when you know you're gonna get laid soon.
found a cell phone. in the freezer. wrapped in bologna. explain?
Dude, she brought over peach cobbler, weed and alcohol plus I'm gonna get laid. She's by far the coolest sister you have.
His name is Dustib. Not a typo. I just can't.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm in too deep with Breaking Bad. I realized I've altered my Tinder likes to people that either look like Jesse or work in a school's Science department.
When I say "is it a bad idea to do Mollie before an 8hr shift tomorrow?" I dont want to hear the truth I want to hear you encouraging my bad decisions
When you left the bar, you did two cartwheels and a heel click and RAN ALL THE WAY HOME.
Whose dick am I looking at? There are too many possibilities at the moment.
Last night this creepy guy asked me my name and I told him it was Jaundice and he called me that all night
Try me, you 5'5 gremlin
Randomize