I prefer the term 'tenderly watching'
such a stalker...
she wanted to love me. she just didn't know it yet.
I was told to ask you about memoirs of a geisha.
ride him like a prized pony all the way to orgasm town.
I'm never waking up next to someone after sex again. It's alllll downhill from there.
Ran into his mom at the bar, i told her "i know he's married now but I'd still do him"
All together there was 318 cigarette butts in the pool... And my microwave.
At my place... I'm gonna be honest though stonewall Jackson is not going to be able to rally the troops. Too many shots of tequila
Just fat and dog and sweat all over the bed. All night long.
I woke wondering who the hell was in my bed. Then i felt boobs and remembered Haha. Thirsty Thursday killed my liver and my homosexuality
Update. A gay dude just told me I'm the most beautiful thing with a vagina he as ever seen. How should I feel about this?
Never has jello made me angry to the point of drinking. But here I am.
So what you're saying is that The Magic Kingdom is ruining our plans to get laid?
I just got woken up by that guy wearing a Krispy Kreme hat giving out donuts
Yeah. I hurt his pride. But he's not over it. And by it I mean me.
That moment when you’re at the doctor to give a sperm sample you’re only getting 3G so the porn is buffering
Randomize
