You just made me feel so damn special
New invention idea: vibrating tampons
It was like little house on the drunk prairie.
had a convo with my professor before class while peeing... new level of awkward or a breakthrough in our relationship? i feel like there is no longer a professional boundary.
the head trauma was worth the blowjob.
just had to sit in the middle of an aisle in stop and shop because we're too hungover and needed to take a break.
got high to the hills theme song. FEEL THE RAIN ON YOUR SKIN. no regrets.
You should've come to the party. It was like an identity parade of everyone you screwed last year.
Shots. Renamed a guy (he looked like a Scott to me), running, bloody Marys, walk to Safeway, donuts, ride home from someones husband, Nurse Jackie. FIN.
I said that I'm avoiding parties and guys, and the freshman girl just laughed
Woke up with two different flip flops on sum burnt at the beach. Who are these French kids plz come back
I was going to do a cardio thing but then tacos.
Today would have been my 8th wedding anniversary and I woke up with a hot European guy in my bed. Divorce has it's perks.
Gay?
German.
Pity.
Would it be creepy if I masturbated with my face in the pillow he slept on last night? Cuz I'm pretty sure that's about to happen
Randomize
