just brushed my teeth with a bottle of jack. ew. not all it's hyped up to be.
he nicknamed his dick "too big to fail"
The google font looked peculiar last night, but then up close I realized it was just dry vomit.
WTF WHY ARE YOU STILL NOT DOING A BEER BONG?! THE TOILET CLOG CAN WAIT
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You are forgiven. I sent you a picture of a pumpkin man as a gesture of reconciliation.
No. He just yelled "youre having one more orgasm!" So he made that happen and then he rolled over and went to sleep.
Sorry for trying to force you and Robert to make out. I didn't realize how awkward it was until I woke up today.
Yeah... I was considering changing that part but the boxed wine is non-negotiable.
Itll be like a collage of penis. And not that abstract, one penis in a big painting contemporary shit. Collage....
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm not really made for random hookups.. i'm like a swan.. i don't wanna have random swan sex. i just wanna have one swan hubby and fly around the world together and eat bread that people throw at us..
You put your finger on my lips and told me 'the butt is nature's pocket'.
I don't remember that at all, but I stand by what I said
It's one of the few times I hit fuck it levels of not caring
You were yelling at them from the passenger seat saying you wanted your chicken for free because they couldn't prove it was from kentucky
I thought this boy told me to choke him, so I went all in. Turns out he really said “stroke.”
You kept crying and I couldnt help but laugh at you, I was really high though.
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