The dr is doing well, he randomly asked if I was bi
So just talked to them hahah i like that people sat there and watched as you two made out... They said they even had to refill their beers
tequila makes my crab dance SOOOO much better
Yeah I'm buying him lunch right now because I shot him with the fire extinguisher last night
Saying you want a bj does not count as saying you wanna see me btw.
Well, I woke up with a text message from my cab driver that said "I hope you're alive," so that's a good indicator of how I was acting last night.
I'm naked and wearing a cowbell.i love med school.
On duty sugar tits. A Marine never abandons his post to take nudi pics.
Walking in on a gay threesome, with a girl in the corner watching and taking vid is a reason to not only knock, but to never go to Savannah.
Friends don't let friends go vibrator shopping alone.
Found out the cop gives spectacular head. Don't ask. We're going out to dinner Saturday.
you know you’re single when you try to cook yourself a nice pasta dinner but you’re too weak to open the container of sauce and theres no one around to help you
My friends said as soon as you walked in, I motor boated you like there was no tomorrow.
Yeah, I liked it.
I'd like to know who hasn't seen my tits tonight.
What's a really polite way of saying "you have gravely overestimated the value of your vagina?"
Randomize
