I just saw a girl play flip cup with only her tongue
I'm in love
I think horse shit smells the best of all shits.
You took all of my sister's dolls and threw them out the window and then you started talking to her etcha sketch and mr. potato head. I later found you passed out in front of Toy Story and it all made sense.
I don't know if the fire truck was perfect timing or if she actually burned something down.
We're playing Big Buck Hunter to determine who buys the next pitchers. And they said video games wouldn't help me later in life
and I was crying with the towel lady in the bathroom of the bar about the tragedy in Haiti. Then we hugged before I left and I gave her 10 dollars.
Just checked my recent transactions online. Between the hours of 1 and 3am on September 30th, I went to 7/11 4 times. Unacceptable.
There needs to be a crayon color for how blue my balls are
I never thought the first time a taser would be used on me would be at an applebees
I feel like we should build an island for girls that have committed atrocious numbers of unforgivable sins. We'll call it 'whore island' after the anchorman fashion.
One of the annoying girls in my 7 AM class showed up drunk for her 21st birthday and just auctioned off her fake ID.
So you're mad that I let you go home with the guy with soft hands but yet you can't understand that I was just trying to help you
Haha idk you were stealing pizza dough at dominos
May I the honors of taking your dick tonight?
The honor would be all mine.
the raccoons are back...
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