Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(530): View more from California

Theres an amvulance here. It might be for me

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(813): View more from Florida

thanks for waiting 12 hours to ask if I was in a ditch or not

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(516): View more from New York

It Amazes me that I was able to drunk update my status in Spanish last night.

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(774): View more from Massachusetts

It's official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world.

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(352): View more from Florida

One of my coworkers just invited me to a wet t-shirt contest this weekend in honor of her son's 21st Birthday.

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(801): View more from Utah

It's almost like he dry humped the last remaining bit of good person out of me.

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(614): View more from Ohio

just made one giant jello shot... if i have to study on a saturday night, i'm gonna do it as drunk as possible

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(+44): View more from United Kingdom

We just fucked in the park on a bench and a guy with a dog walked past us and the dog walked right up to us while the guy stared at his phone.

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(+44): View more from United Kingdom

I flushed a potato down the toilet so now we have to live in a hotel.

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