Gonna be late. Someone jumped in front of our train.
and before you know it i was laying next to him at 2 in the morning with penis and sadness on my breath.
Sex should be hot, sweaty, messy, and a little painful. At no point should it involve tiny rocks
she walked in on me snorting my prozac. there was no way to convince her i was doing a good thing.
I don't want to get into details but it feels like there was a bear mauling involved. A very good bear mauling.
All I know is that your reaction after this date with him was "I think I did cocaine" so I'm sold on this boy
I found a phone book at the party and started calling everyone with my last name asking if they wanted to form a club. I'm meeting one for brunch tomorrow...
Drunk naked twister. My place. Heath is trying to use his dick as a third leg.
I feel like my map app knows I'm hungover and is strategically not driving me by fast food places so I cannot stop
I'm using her Instagram as a way to know where in town she is so I can avoid her lol
It bothers me when I see my old fuck buddies starting families on Facebook.
Wanna go on a picnic?
... by picnic I mean wanna sit on a blanket and drink with me?
being broke is really keeping my alcoholism in check
Our baby is creepy.
That's how we know it's ours. haha
Just found out a shooting happened in our parking lot while it was closed this morning. So thaaaaaaaaats fun.
Randomize