Got some. In a truck. I will just pee you in the morning i guess?
y did u give ur computer a hand job?
the smoke from my cigarette strangely resembles what patrick swayzes ghost will look like.
Woke up under the lifeguard stand sleeping next to mitch our homeless friend. I bartered a summer wardrobe for his last 5 dollar to buy a bfast sandwich. Bring clothes
Yes, I have your ice luge mold. I'll do a prisoner exchange for the beer bong
I'm just trying to absorb as much of the fluids from the carpet as I can.
I received a sext from my girlfriend, and a deal for free chips and guacamole at chipotle at the same time. I have tasted heaven, and it is beautiful.
Can you rollerblade?
No, why?
Honestly, I was high and picturing us roller blading together. I wanted to see if I could make my dreams a reality.
The gas station was closed so we found old PBR and played Edward Nalgene Hands instead
he asked me where I was going to school, and then we started having sex, and I answered his question forty five minutes later after we were done. It was the chilliest thing ever.
I am in serious pain and you're making dick jokes. I hope you wind up with crotch rot.
The twitch Bob Ross stream is the happiest little hangover cure ever.
I know, dude. If he ends up having a tiny dick, I will literally pack it back into his pants and leave. Not worth the aggravation.
Bad news man, we're gonna have to reschedule Golden Coral: The Musical
I don't know who the fuck this is, but right on man
Also you think METH is on the same level of wanting to see the movie cats? We’re gonna unpack that later
Randomize
